I’ve Been Dreading This Post….

This post has literally taken….oh….4 hours or more to type and edit??

Ugh……The damn formatting alone takes most of the time! This is one of the reasons I hate posting when at work. This family blog still uses the old Blogger format, which means I can only upload 5 pics at a time…..and many other quirks that I hate. When I am at work and try to post, I can’t place the pics elsewhere on the page (thus the reason they’re all here in this top part), and when I do upload pics, it messes up the formatting and spacing throughout the post. Horrific, I tell ya.

Anyhow….here are some recent pics!

I’ve been a bad blogger on the personal side; all my blogging time has been spent on Thrift Diving, which is the blog I started almost 3 months ago to showcase all my thrifty decorating with thrift store stuff. That has been very time consuming; so much so that I have neglected this blog once again. 🙁 And each day is going sooo fast, I need to make it a point to post here at least twice a week to keep current on our lives! I’ll look back on these days and they will all be a blur, and I’ll be left wondering if it was all real or what!

I also just realized that the formatting of Blogger is all wrong and wonky when I try to post from work. Somehow it just doesn’t let me place my pics where I want them to go. And so I don’t post at work much. And at home, well, I just don’t have over an hour or more to post must. I guess I better start making the time, especially so I can post pics the way I want them to look, not all squished together at the top of the post.

Anyhow, it’s been so long since I posted that I even had a LIST of everything that I wanted to post about so that I didn’t miss anything (which I am sure I will miss something!):

Lost Teeth

Since I had last written, can you believe that Kwabena has lost 3 teeth?? One on the bottom, the first one, came out at school. The other bottom one I actually pulled out! And the 3rd one, one of the top teeth, came out while he was brushing his teeth one morning. I call him “Snaggle McGee.” HAHAHA It looks so funny! Just another reminder how fast he is growing up. Kwabena is even getting some molars coming in right now. And Ohene has molars coming in, too! Kojo may even be teething now, because he wants to chew on everrrrything. But I don’t think his teeth will actually pop through for at least another couple months, if he’s anything like Kwabena and Ohene.

I had a “bad Mommy” moment when Kwabena’s first tooth came out! We totally don’t do the tooth fairy (not the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or what-have-you), but I was going along with the tooth fairy that day his tooth came out. He said he didn’t believe in the tooth fairy, but I started saying, “Weelll, you never know! You should still put your tooth under the pillow!” And so he did. And my stupid ass totally forgot about it, and the next morning, he woke and said, “My tooth is still under my pillow!” OMG! lol I felt horrible! All I could say is, “Well, see?? There really is no tooth fairy, huh?” Horrible mother I was!! Anyhow, I ended up giving him $5.00 for each tooth, and he saved up to buy Test Tube Alien at Toys R Us. LOL

Parent Teacher Conference

Kwabena’s doing so well academically. His reading is way above grade level (he’s actually reading and writing at an end of first year/beginning of second grade level). Mathematically he’s doing well (although not sure what level he’s at there). Behaviorally is where we’re having the challenges. He was coming home with more “Oops” notes from school, and his Kindergarten teachers, Mrs. Garner, wanted to have a Parent Teacher conference so that we could discuss his behavior, as well as some options to manage it. I had thought it was pretty successful in that we would all be on the same page, and that if needed, he would go to another table to do his work, if needed. Mrs. Garner agreed to do a daily report for him, showing stars or minuses for things he did well or didn’t do.

His main problem continues to be, however, making noises in class. I was thinking that maybe he’s just bored…?? I mean, considering that he’s at a high level of schooling, and the work is so easy (how much cutting and pasting do they do, anyhow??). But it could be his inattention and when he loses focus, he wants to make noises. Not sure.

At one point, he wrote “Blow-up Day” on his shamrock for St. Patrick’s Day (at first I thought it was funny simply because he got and “Oops” note for having an “inappropriate response.” The following week, though, when they read a story about a middle child not getting attention, and Mrs. Garner asked how they would get her attention if she were ignoring them, Kwabena says “guns and chainsaws.” Oh, Looord…….So when I got that call from the guidance counselor telling me what had happened, and how she was asking Kwabena about his feelings and how he said he feels he doesn’t have any friends, etc., I was very upset.

At first.

I mean, yes, okay, not the response he should have gave. I was upset in thinking that, oh my God, my son is violent and wants to murder people! The guidance counselor suggested some special group that she was putting together and wanted to know if Kwabena could attend. Of course, because I was upset, I said yes, but the more I thought about it, hell no my kid doesn’t need special counseling sessions for boys that need to talk about their emotions!

I talked to him when we got home; I actually took him for a run, just him and me. I asked him about the “guns and chainsaws” and at first he didn’t want to talk to me about it because I guess he knew he would get in trouble. I reassured him that he wouldn’t get in trouble. I asked him about why he mentioned chainsaws, and he brought up about going into the backyard with a chainsaw or something. Sure enough, just that weekend I was mentioning needing a chainsaw so that we could cut the larger limbs of the tree branch that was out there. I asked him about the gun and he said, “I don’t really know about that.” I asked him specifically if he wanted to hurt people and he said, “No.” And it sounded genuine, not the “no” of a child who was just giving you and answer for the sake of giving you the answer you want to hear.

After talking with him, I simply reinforced to him that he cannot talk about those things at school, or else he could get in trouble. And then I left it alone. I think the more attention we’d have brought to it would have done more harm than good. And after talking with him, I didn’t feel he was a boy in trouble, with troubled thoughts. I think he was taken out of context. Even so, it’s something I am keeping an eye on, to see if there are any other things that may need attention.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Kwabena has ADHD. In fact, this past Friday, I brought him to work so that a coworker could do a computer test that looks at impulsivity and inattention. It’s not valid on kids under 6, so I would probably have him tested again at age 6, which is soon. And there are some other tests that my friend can give, so yeah, that’s the direction we’re going.

Some of the challenges that Kwabena has in school is doing activities that require several steps: cut, color, paste. When I volunteered in his classroom while on maternity leave, I did see how he needed constant prodding from the teacher to get all the steps done. Yet, when I volunteered recently on a day off from work, I noticed that he handled the tasks on parr with the rest of his class, even getting further than some of the other kids. Of course, that is just two days out of a whole school year. But, if he can get it done one day….and not the next, wouldn’t it be a more consistent problem if it was ADHD?

I think we just need some behavioral tecnniques and rewards to help him. He wants to get a pet fish. I am thinking of putting together some rewards for him to earn these things so that it gives him some motivation for curbing his behavior and following directions more.

Testing for ADHD

I had a friend of mine test Kwabena on this test that looks at attention and impulsivity. Apparently the test isn’t valid on 5 year olds; they have to be at least 6. But I wanted her to test him anyhow. It was about 15 minutes and he had to do press the space bar when he say any letter of the alphabet, EXCEPT letter “x”. It measures speed at which he pressed it, an whether he would miss any, press when he shouldn’t have, ect.

So, from the results, he scored high on the “Inattentiveness” section, but on the “Impulsivity” section he was normal. My coworker testing him said that sometimes she would look over and he would be looking at something else, or if she moved, he would avert his eyes to what she was doing and she had to keep him on task. His results were that he was sluggish with responding at times. He wasn’t impulsively striking the keys at inapprorpriate times, which is good. And he could distinguish between when he needed to press it and when he didn’t. But he was a bit sluggish at pressing it, and sometimes he missed the “x” (probably when he was supposed to be watching the screen and not my coworker). And, his results for response time as the test went on was high; meaning, towards the end of the test, he was getting slower to react, which means he was probably wondering off at that point.

Now, again….it’s not clinically “valid” for age 5, but I’m going to retest him in 6 months or so to see if there is an improvement in those areas where he scored higher. And she’s got some other testing looking at processing, but again, he has to be 6 in order for it to be valid.

Like I said, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s ADHD for Inattention. But now we need to learn some strageties to help him improve that. We shall see….

Same Parents, Different Child

What’s so amazing his how we can have 3 boys, all from the same genetic makeup, but so different in their behaviors; even their looks are totally different! Ohene is such the opposite of Kwabena! It’s hard not to compare when you have more than one child, so yes, I will compare. Kwabena was more advanced academically than Ohene at this age; he was counting to 13 even before he turned 2 years old. Ohene can count to 10, I think, but sometimes stumbles up. And I’m not sure if he can really count things yet, beyond 2 items. Kwabena was soooo active, and I remember I had problems with him running away/ahead all the time! Ohene, OMG, you can go out with him and (if he’s not influenced by Kwabena) he will stay right next to you!! It shocks me sometimes to see how (yes, active) calm he is. And Ohene is soooo helpful! I will bring groceries home and Ohene is the good boy who will come over and take the bag into the kitchen and start putting things in the fridge (hahah, even stuff that shouldn’t go in the fridge! LOL). Even to this day, lazy Kwabena won’t even help out. You have to ask him to help, and even then it’s like pulling teeth!

Ohene does know all of his colors! It’s so funny how he sometimes says “wipe” when he means “white.” So cute! And I have started to try to work with him more on understanding what counting means and how to do it. So this weekend I was in the kitchen and he was in the foyer, playing on the bottom stairs, with his cars, and he goes, “Mommy, I know my numbers! One….two…..” OMG, it was the cutest thing ever!! And sure enough, there he was, counting, and going up to 7 or something.

Ohene is a very sweet boy. He loves to hug me goodnight, and he loves to kiss me on the lips (whereas Kwabena hates to touch people because they have germs, lol).

And the things he says!! I still can’t believe he’s so verbal! Last weekend he was lying on the bed in the morning, playing with Kojo, and Kojo (who wants to grab everything, of course), grabbed Ohene’s face and scratched him. Ohene yelled out, “Ouch!” and then climbed down off the bed and said into his make-believe phone, “Hello, police? Kojo scratched me!” It was soooo freakin’ cute!! And amazing, too, because he’s got an active imagination.

A Mother’s Guilt

Sometimes I feel so guilty because Ohene is the middle child, and yes, the first born and last born get so much more attention because of their needs. I often feel like Ohene gets left out. Could just be my over observation of the whole “middle child” thing and it may not even be an issue. I know that I am much less patient with Ohene at this age than I was with Kwabena. Meaning, when Ohene is crying and whining, it gets to me; irks me. I get more easily frustrated with it. Also because having 3 kids is tough in terms of time, so I am less patient, and then I am less patient in dealing with the crying and whining stuff. I’ve had “bad Mommy” moments when I tell Ohene “shut up!” because he’s crying and whining so much. That’s awful, because I never said that to Kwabena (well, as a baby–now, it may slip out occasionally, lol). I don’t like to tell people to “shut up.” I think it’s very disrespectful.

And there are times when I am carrying Kojo and all Ohene wants is me, and I can only hold his hand; I can’t pick him up, too. He needs his Mommy, too, just like the other two. Last weekend I was able to spend some one-on-one time with Ohene when Kwabena was up on the computer playing games and Kojo was upstairs sleeping. It was nice! I realize he never really gets that from me. And I realize he must start getting that. All the boys, and Kwasi, really, need their one-on-one time. I notice a difference in their behavior when they have me all to themselves.

One thing I noticed about Ohene that was shocking was how he doesn’t know how to want things at the store! One day we had some time together after he went with me to Kojo’s 4-month check-up. I had picked them up from Miss Marilyn’s and took them to the dr. Afterwards, we went to Target to get a couple things, and he wanted to look at toys. I was offering to buy him something. I kept telling him I would buy him a prsent, and to let me know what he wanted. After some non-specific things, we ended up walking out without anything! There really wasn’t any particular thing he was asking for! Was he too young to really care? Or have I just groomed him in such a way that he doesn’t know how to “want” at the store? Everything (well, nearly) he’s had has been passed down from Kwabena to him. He doesn’t know what it’s like to go to the store and want, want, want and get, get, get. I don’t even do that for myself, honestly. But still…it just made me realize that I need to give him some of that special attention and allow him to get a little spoiled.

Rolling Over!

Mr. Koji-Bear is rolling over! He’s been doing it for at least a couple weeks now, and I should have come here to post about it, but…. Anyhow, I’m posting about it now. 🙂 I can just imagine–crawling is only months away! It feels like I just had him. How could he be doing all these things now?? Kwabena was 5 months when he started to crawl….same with Ohene. I wonder if Kojo will be on the same developmental schedule?? We shall see. He’s so strong and has always sort of put weight on his legs. And I don’t make any small babies. He’s BIG! At his 4-month check-up he was 16 lbs, 9 oz, and 26.5″ long. His head circumferance was 16.6″. I’m not sure what Ohene’s stats were at that age (I’d have to check the earlier part of the blog), but Kwabena was around those same stats. In fact, I think Kojo is bigger! I think he is going to take after Kwabena. Their head is the same (same big noggin), and odd, but they have the same shape of long, skinny baby feet! Ohene’s were wider. But Kwabena and Kojo both have what I call “kangaroo feet.” LOL

Kojo just feels different from the other kids. When he looks at me, I feel like he really knows what’s going on. It’s strange! It’s like he’s so aware, much more than what I remember Kwabena and Ohene being like. Some people have said he has an old soul. I wonder if that’s true? I wonder if he will always have that sort of “old soul” demeanor about him? Only time will tell.

We’re all enjoying him so much–Kwabena and Ohene love to play with him. And now that Kojo is grabbing and trying to shove everything and everyone into his mouth, his interactiveness is more fun for everyone. I love his little squeals when I tickle him, and when I am playing with him. I call him Mr. Squishy Face because of the cute, squishy smile he gives me 🙂

Date Night

Last weekend Kwasi’s mom watched the kids while we went to a wedding of this guy he knows from the shop. They’re part of the Brotherhood (some Isrealites or something), and so everyone there was dressed in cultural wear, except me, of course! If I didn’t stick out like a sore thumb, shit, I don’t know what did. LOL. It was pretty funny. But, of course, I didn’t mind. I’m used to sticking out for one reason or another. The event was pretty dry, but OMG, the food was amazing! I’m glad we stuck around for it.

Regardless, it was good getting out and dressing up and feeling pretty. Kwasi and I should really do it more often. We seriously don’t get out enough. And I never thought that leaving 3 kids with Kwasi’s mom would be an option, but apparently it is! 🙂 So this should be at least a once-a-month kind of thing! When’s the last time we went out dancing?!

Spring Break 2012

This was Kwabena’s first Spring Break, and our first spring break as parents of a child in school. Now it’s taken on a whole new meaning: family time! Kwasi and I took off work last Thursday and Friday and we drove down to the Luray Caverns in Virgina. The drive was beautiful, and it was a gorgeous, sun-filled drive. The kids were good, too! Even Kojo!! I could imagine how pretty it is in the fall; we must go again. The caverns were amazing, too. The kids really enjoyed it, and Kwabena took so many pictures. 🙂 We had lunch there ($20 for grilled cheese and nachos and soda???). Afterwards we went into the car museum that was next door. Then we headed for home. A nice day, overall, and long overdue!

The following day we went to the Smithsonian Museum of Natual History, to see dinosaurs and mummies, and all the other cool stuff they had there, like stuffed animals from the wild. It was veerrry crowded, but I can’t imagine a time when they’re not crowded, so we just rolled with it. I think the kids really enjoyed that, too!

We needed some family time, because we just don’t get any; at least, not to do fun, different stuff like that. Usually it’s Kwasi working on the weekends and me just hanging out with the kids. But this was our first family day trip with all of us. We should do that at least once a month, too!

Easter Weekend

So this weekend was Easter. We’re totally not religious so we don’t observe it. And I don’t even observe it how I used to as a kid–with Easter baskets and what-not. How the hell does a bunny have anything to do with a religious holiday, I’ll never understand…. Anyhow, we went to Hagerstown to see Mom and the fam. It was a really nice day! We mostly hung out over at Bee’s house. She was in a good mood, thankfully, because that can be torturous if she’s not! I took my new Bobby Brown makeup that I paid an arm and a leg for recently (!) and made-up Camryn, which was fun. I even made-up Bee, and wanted to do Mom, but I had forgotten.

When we were leaving out, Cam, Kwabena, and Ohene was running circles around the parking lot. And OMG, Ohene was so funny!! He just wanted to run…and run…and run…and he was wearing his cute too-big Thomas crocs and we were holding our breath, hoping he wouldn’t fall. LOL. He eventually did, but it wasn’t as big of a boo-boo that we were fearful of. It was so cute, though, seeing them run. And it was such a nice family moment that I don’t think any of us wanted it to end. 🙂

Ivy League Schools

Trey, my nephew, only have one more year of school, and then he’ll be off to college. His dream is to go to an ivy league school. And his dream may come true! Supposedly, schools are requesting his transcripts! Go Trey!! Make us proud!! I still can’t believe he’s driving now…has his own car….and is heading to college in a year!! WTH!! I remember when he was 2 years old and I fell and pretended to play dead, and his little concerned voice said, “Aunt Ree, are you alwight??” Awww….and now look–college. SIGH…..

Mother-Daughter Day

Well….LOL….what was to be a mother-daughter day of thrift store browsing with Mom last month, ended up being a mother-daughter day that felt right out of The National Lampoons European Vacation. HAHAHA.

So Mom and I decided that we would spend the day together. I had asked her some time ago to answer 10 questions that a daughter should ask her mother. She did. And one of the questions was, “What can I do for you right now?” She responded, “Take me to your favorite thrift store and let me buy whatever I want. Oh, and you have to come pick me up, too.” Well, surely I could do that! So we made a plan for Monday, March 12th. I called in “sick” (so I didn’t have to use vacation time). We just decided that we’d go to Frederick to shop around there, so that I wouldn’t have to drive all the way to and from H-town in a day; plus, not knowing what time she had to be home. We figured Frederick would work much better.

I couldn’t really find any thrift stores in Frederick, but I figured if we just went to Market St., there would be some cool shops there. Well, that was a bust–first, the so-called vintage and antique shops had prices too expensive for things I know I could find at the thrift store…..and then mom’s back could barely make it up and down the streets….so we hit the new Goodwill. The score of the day was the little $25 vanity that I had bought and later when back to pick up on my way home.

Lunch was almost a bust as we went from one place to the next, including the lame-ass malls in that area that were either deserted or had NO food court. But thankfully, after some searching, we found Cracker Barrel and had some amazing, yummy lunch!

Unfortunately, mom didn’t find anything! 🙁 I still want her to come up to my thrift store to see what she can find. She’s so afraid of coming down the highway, though, so Lord knows when she will actually come for that trip….

Wrap-Up

Thank God I have a job that is soooo not busy all the time, because that’s the only way for me to crank out a post like this 🙂 That’s why I need not wait until the last minute to get stuff like this written, because it takes forever! I promise to write more frequently. And to keep the pics coming!

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