Am I pushing Kwabena too much with potty training? Is Miss Marilyn (his daycare provider)? I would like to say NO, but we have to read his cues. He’s not going to say to me, “Mommy, chill out, will ya??” But it might come through in other ways.
At daycare he has been more resistant to potty training, though. Could be that Miss Marilyn is offering the big toilet to him and he’s used to his small potty at home, which (as you can read in early potty training blogs I’ve written), he’s done great using. But at daycare, he doesn’t want to use the toilet usually, but after some urging from Miss Marilyn, he may pee. Yesterday after she took him off the toilet, he went and pooped in his diaper, and when she asked him if he pooped, he said no.
So, I believe there IS a bit too much pressure; Miss Marilyn agrees and has told me let’s not pressure him going forward.
How do you define pressure, though?
Forcing a child to sit on the potty when they don’t want to is definitely pressure. But creating environments where the child WANTS to use the potty isn’t pressure. For example, at home, as long as Kwabi is diaperless, he will use his potty to pee and poop. That’s no pressure from me. In fact, he thrives on my praise when he used the potty and insists that I come see his pee-pee in the potty. LOL
His potty used to sit in the living room, where it would be easily accessible. But I have since moved his potty into the hallway bathroom, so that he can begin associating going to the bathroom with the actual bathroom and NOT the living room. That’s been going very well! A couple of times he has run to the living room in a rush to pee, and say, “Where’s my potty?” before remembering it’s now in the bathroom, where he then rushes to it and sits down to pee.
So now, my strategy is to get him comfortable with using his potty in the bathroom, and then after 2-3 weeks, I’ll transition him to the big toilet, with a toilet seat. I think once he gets used to using the big toilet, he might be more willing to use Miss Marilyn’s.
So if a child has proven they know how to recognize the signs of needing to pee/poop, doesn’t it make sense to take them to the next level? I don’t want my own laziness or uncertainty to prevent me from moving forward with potty training.
I have come to realize that kids are super smart and are able to be challenged now and then in order to prove to us and themselves what they are really capable of. I know that Kwabi is doing really well with potty training for his age (considering that many parents don’t even attempt potty training until kids are closer to 3, whether it’s because the child and/or parent isn’t ready). And I am going to continue challenging him to see what he can handle. And if I notice that he’s not ready to take the next potty training step, then I’ll back off and give him more time to adjust before the next step.
I’ll keep you updated!
Howdy Serena!
My opinion- let Kwabi lead. This is one area they WILL tell you when they are ready- because eventually they really aren’t going to like feeling wetness or lumps in their diaper. He WILL start to get bothered by that. Don’t forget, boys typically learn later than girls.
Grace essentially trained herself- and the ease of that I am contributing to the fact that she was totally ready and I Just followed her lead. We kept her little potty out all the time for her to examine and look at, and we’d explain what it was for- and eventually, she decided to use it one day. This all came around the same time she started to say “ohoh” when she would pee in her diaper. After that she basically started ASKING to go potty (no joke- I was shocked).
Anyways- if he starts resisting in any way- I say he’s not ready. Maybe you need to stick with what he’s comfortable with NOW (Grace used the potty at home but would not use it at school either) and be happy with that until he signals he’s ready for more.
Hey, Shauna!! Thanks for the advice. How soon after she started using the potty at home did Grace start using the potty at school? You’re right, if he starts resisting, he’s probably not ready for the next step! 🙂
How’s Adia??
Serena- I think at this age our kid’s can be aware – Addison will tell me she is peeing in her diaper while in the car or out and about…..then says CHANGE ME. She will ask to use the toilet a lot of the time and then when she’s too busy won’t…….. we are beginning to ask her a bit more (like before putting on a new diaper) whether she needs to go pee or will she at least try? If she says no we let it drop. I say back off a bit and see if he leads you back to it. You could wait until he masters things at home or can a tleast tell you WITH clothes on he has to go before having him try that with someone who isn’t his Mommy? Just a thought…..
If I remember correctly, Grace was using the potty at home- or asking to go- for several weeks before all the kids in her class moved up into another room (which had little mini potties in it). That’s when the teachers started talking about how all the kids would be sitting on the potty to try and “go” at specific times each day. For a couple weeks I went ahead and tried out their system- figuring Grace was only there 3 days a week anyways— but I didn’t want her to get confused- thinking that she wouldnt need to TELL us she was going- because shye thought we would constantly ask (seems like we’d be going backwards at that) so I asked the teachers there to stop putting her on the potty at regular times- to wait until she asked someone. Well..she never would ask (she was so distracted there with everything going on). But it worked out that instead of going at the same time as everyone else- one teacher made a point of asking Grace at random times throughout the day if she wanted to go potty- and Grace would respond yes or no. It was pretty easy then…
Adia is good. 🙂 Getting big!!