Now I know why these times are called the “terrible two’s.” This weekend, I would have to say, has been the most challenging of parenting. I have heard reports from Ms. Marilyn that Kwabena has days (here and there) where he doesn’t listen, but I can’t recall ever having as tough of a time as we did this weekend.
Requests were asked nicely…then more firmly when the requests fell upon deaf ears…then threatened, “If you don’t do _______ by the time I get to three, you are going to be in trouble. One…two…” Luckily I’ve never had to get to three, but man……talk about frustrating!
Last night we went to a birthday party for a friend. We decided to take Kwabena because Kwasi’s mom has just babysat the previous night when we went out to an engagement party for a friend. So asking her to sit again didn’t feel right. And besides, we’d taken Kwabena before with us to these sorts of get-togethers and he’d done okay before.
This time, however, I literally followed behind him by three paces, trying to make sure that he wasn’t getting into things he shouldn’t be, or making sure he wasn’t running and crashing into guests at the party. Talk about exhausting!! I was so ready to leave after a while, because (well, it was getting late), but mostly because I just didn’t feel like chasing after him any longer. I don’t recall having one minute to just sit and breathe and relax at the birthday party.
At one point, we were sitting down to cake and ice cream, and Kwabena (after finishing his) was walking around looking to get more, wanting to (almost) stick his fork or hands into other people’s food!
I don’t know what to attribute his latest behavioral issues to, but Ms. Marilyn seems to think it could be due to potty training. She noticed that when he made the switch to underwear a couple weeks ago, he started to rebel, in a sense. He’s now doing well at daycare, but at home he’s suddenly become a child that almost looks for trouble, just to see how we’re going to react.
It’s very exhausting…
Anyhow, regarding potty training, I do feel that Kwabena has regressed a bit since we made the switch to underwear. Just prior, he was telling us more and more that he needed to go pee (as well as poop), but ever since making the switch to underwear, he’s not telling us as often (or at all) that he needs to go pee. We’re constantly having to remind him. At daycare, it’s not a struggle, and she’s reminding him at constant intervals (e.g. before nap, after nap, etc.). At home, we remind him when he’s obviously leaking (holding it for too long), and at certain times, like when he’s holding himself more often. But he’s more resistant to using the potty at home.
Maybe we are pressuring him too much. I just feel like he can get it. He can tell us when he has to go poop, so why such a hard time to just say he has to go pee? I am trying to relax and if he has an accident, then not make a big deal about it, and let him change himself.
At daycare on Friday when I picked up Kwabena, another of the parents came in to pick up her son. Ms. Marilyn, during the course of conversation, mentioned to the other parent that Kwabena is already in underwear. The mom said, “Wow, my son wasn’t potty trained until he was 4. Was there some reason why you decided to start potty training him now?”
I wanted to say, “Four??!!” but of course, I didn’t. I feel that if a parent waits until 4 years old, their child is either delayed, or the parents are just lazy (all those parents who may read this that didn’t potty train until age 4, please do not email me angry messages about this. I just feel that by age 4, kids are way too smart and should understand how to use the toilet–and if they don’t, it’s because the parents don’t want to put in the effort to teach them). In this mom’s case, could be a little of both; not sure. Anyhow, I told her that I know that Kwabena can do it–he proved that he knew how to use the potty back in October when we started using the Naked and $75 Method of potty training. Plus, I am going to challenge him a little and see just how much he can handle. It may be that the underwear and consistently going to pee is just a bit too much for him right now. Turning back to pull-ups isn’t really an option. I think just laying off and letting him remind himself will be the best option. I think Kwabena is a child that is very independent in that way.
Anyhow, that is what is new with us!
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