I did something different this New Year’s Eve: I decided to call everyone in my cell phone address book and wish them a “Happy New Year.” First of all, there’s not that many people in there (I know some people have hundreds of contacts!!). I had changed phones about 8 months ago or so ago, and many numbers were lost (since I dropped my Blackberry in a tub of water, all numbers were LOST!).
Anyhow, I decided to call everyone for two reasons: 1) There just isn’t as much personal connection between people nowadays, especially in my life. Everything is electronic–email….Facebook….text messages….blog boards……It’s crazy how little I actually communicate now that the means of communication has broadened. I thought it would be a nice touch to reach out to people via phone, which would give me a chance to connect to people that I would otherwise electronically pass by on Facebook or some other superficial medium; and 2) I realized that not one friend called,or even emailed or texted me on Christmas to say “Merry Christmas!” Now….it’s not that Christmas is THAT important to me; it’s not. It’s just the idea that on a holiday, not one person that I know contacted me (other than Kwasi, who was in Ghana, but called me everyday, regardless; and I was already at my mom’s house, so of course she or my sis wouldn’t have called).
So much for feeling important.
This stark realization is that my life has become too electronic….Emailing has become the norm….Chatting with my mom’s group online for the past nearly 4 years….Close connections that I used to have with good friends that no longer live in the area are not really there anymore (Morning, I love you, girl!).
And in today’s society, people don’t care to reach out to other people anymore…and no one reaches out to me. It’s become so that a Facebook status update replaces a real phone call to say, “Hey, I was thinking about you. What’s new??”
On Christmas evening, driving home from Hagerstown, I called one of my best buds since 6th grade (who, unfortunately, I don’t get to see very often because he lives in MO, and we don’t talk much–although when we DO talk, we pick right back up without a hitch!), and I found out that he almost DIED recently of a blood clot in his leg! I was shocked, and relieved that he was okay. Had I not called him, I am doubtful he would have called me that day, as he was caught up in his own life, and I wouldn’t have known he almost could have lost his life.
Last night one of the friends I called was another long-time-infrequently-seen friend who I hadn’t partied with in ages (a year??). I told him about a job offer that had just come through that I had turned down earlier that morning (that was more money, but too much traveling), and had explained to him all the reasons I had not taken the job, which included the wear-and-tear on my car. He so eloquently pointed out, “To hell with the wear-and-tear on your car; what about the wear-and-tear on YOU??” He opened my eyes to the fact that my reasons for refusing the offer cannot solely be justifed on the material aspects, but how would it have affected ME. Talking to him uncovered additional viewpoints I hadn’t considered. And just to think that interaction would have been lost had I just texted him an empty, “Happy New Year!!”
Today I called my grandfather to say Happy New Year (who I see a few times a year, but am not super close with). It was great to hear what he did this past New Year’s Eve, which was stay up past midnight watching some stunt guy jump from a 5+ story building on a motorcycle “on channel 15, the sports station.” I asked him what it was like being his age (77 years old??) and living through all these decades, to now seeing it turn 2009. He replied, “Oh, I don’t know…I guess I’m just thankful to be alive.”
What I am trying to say is that so much more is gained by reaching out to people personally. Sending a standard “Happy New Year!” text message to all your friends and family robs you of the personal connections that make life meaningful; you miss out on opportunities for real connection, new view points, and laughter.
If we continue to live life through Facebook status updates, emails, text messages, or community chat boards, one day we’re going to wake up to the harsh reality that we’re really just all alone.
P.S. I can’t help but add that most of the people I called to say “Happy New Years” to did not pick up for, I’m sure, various reasons. But it’s interesting to note that of the calls I made, not a single person who I had left a message for actually called me back. Two people responded electronically.
Leave a Reply