The one thing I value the most (other than my family and our health, of course), is financial security.
Being able to feel comfortable, and reassured that if something were to happen (e.g. a job loss, an unexpected bill, a car breakdown), we would be able to handle it.
Yesterday at work Suze Orman came to speak, along with a couple other speakers on various financial topics (I really enjoyed John Sileo’s talk on Identify Theft, too). Most of the information I heard was things I have heard before; there wasn’t a lot of new information. However, just spending the day thinking about and focusing on the message to “save” and “invest” and “spend wisely” really energized me into thinking about our financial health.
I was thankful to meet with a financial counselor for free, for 30 minutes, too. Again, nothing new that he told me that I didn’t already know. But it felt nice bouncing my ideas off of someone else. But the thing I came to realize is this:
We cannot afford to buy a house right now.
When people want something, but finally have to face the reality that they can’t have it right when they want it, the first thing you think of is, “But I deserve it!” and “But other people have it, why can’t I?” I have thought those things, too. I have thought that my kids deserve to have a backyard….I deserve to have a sewing/knitting room… Kwasi deserves to have an office….etc. But to hell with that “deserve” shit. That’s how people wind up in financial binds–thinking too much about what they “deserve” instead of thinking about the facts and their values.
Everything in life is a choice. We make choices based on our values. You know, someone posted this quote in a Facebook status update, and it struck a chord in me. It says:
“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” – Roy Disney
This rang so true to me. And as I thought about my values: (family, health, financial security), I understand that buying a house right now is not in line with my values. It’s not fear that stops me from moving forward with buying a house. It’s the understanding that we would be getting in over our heads, having to sacrifice saving money…..sacrifice retirement accounts…. sacrifice vacations…. sacrifice the ability to just order a freakin’ pizza if we want to, without worry about that $20.
Yes, having a backyard would be nice. But, as you can see in my previous post, Kwabena is most interested in having a place to run and play with other kids. And hell, playgrounds are free!
Plus, I like our condo. I really don’t feel cramped in it (yet). I remember the excitement and thrill I felt when I walked through the door of that condo, with my Realtor, back in 2002. I knew this was the place that I was to buy. That night after seeing the condo, I remember sitting at dinner with Kwasi for our anniversary, praying to God, “Oh, please, please, please let us get that condo!” No other house I have seen in all my days of home searching has resounded with me so much. I felt it was right. I haven’t felt that any of the homes I have looked at were the right thing to jump in to. And there’s much to be said for listening to your gut.
While meeting with the financial counselor yesterday, he was impressed with the amount of money we have saved up, based on our age and incomes. He was impressed that Kwabena’s got a savings account with so much money. Most three-year-olds do not. LOL. That sort of financial secruity is what helps me sleep at night.
Yes, eventually we may want more space. In that case, we could very well move to our townhouse in Hagerstown, especially while we figure out the status of that home (sell versus keep). It would mean sacrificing some things, but one thing it would NOT sacrifice by moving there is our financial secruity.
As long as I acknowledge, respect, and protect our financial security, then as Mr. Disney said, no decision will be too hard to make 🙂
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