Rejection

Last night Kwabena experienced his first experience of rejection, and it broke my heart the way he broke down and sobbed 🙁

I had promised him I would take him to the playground, even though by the time we got there it was a little past 6:30 p.m……cold….AND windy. I knew there wouldn’t be the usual amount of kids there, but a promise is a promise. He excited talked about finding “a friend to play with.”

Kwabena’s become quite the outgoing child. Whatever situation we’re in, he’ll interject himself into a group of kids, and just start playing with them. A week ago I even heard him walk up to a kid at the playground and say, “Hey, do you want to be my friend?” and things like, “Hey, come back here! I want to play with you!” He’s definitely not a child that will shyly hang out on the sidelines.

So yesterday, as I suspected, there were only a handful of kids, just a couple boys. One boy in particular Kwabena started trying to play with was probably about 6 or 7. He was there with his sister, probably 8 years old? And there was another little girl there sitting next to the sister. I was trying to fly our kite (that damn kite…why can’t I get a breeze? LOL). I thought I heard the sister say something like “Go over there and fly the kite.” I couldn’t be sure, since they were a little far away. But I could see that Kwabena was trying to engage the brother, without too much success.

My kite attempt was futile, so I went to sit near the playground. Kwabena was chasing the brother; the brother was laughing, enjoying it, but still not fully engaged in the play. The sister was saying to Kwabena, “Hey, go chase him.” But eventually the boy got on his bike and rode away, with little Kwabena chasing after him. The sister got up shortly after and went riding, too. And my poor little Kwabena was left on the playgroud by himself. At one point he even ran by me, shouting to himself, “I’m looking for a friend, but I can’t find one!”

A few minutes later we began to leave. Halfway across to the car, Kwabena turned and tried to wave and say “bye!” to the kids, but they weren’t even anywhere near. I felt so bad for him.

So we were about to get in the car and Kwabena said how his friend didn’t want to play with him, and had a breakdown! The sobs were coming out as I tried to reassure him that (1) the boy was older, (2) there weren’t a lot of friends even ON the playground since it was getting late, and (3) the boy just wanted to ride his bike with his sister; he wasn’t being mean, and (4) there WILL be times when kids might not want to be his friend, and if so, then he should just go find new friends.

I tried to explain all of these things while he wailed. His poor feelings were hurt, and I felt bad for him 🙁 It made me a little anxious about the future, when he enters the REAL world of Kindergarden, when he meets tons of other kids and he is trying to befriend all of them because he’s so outgoing and playful, but he encounters the MEAN ones, or even the ones that aren’t so much mean, just not interested in being his friend, for whatever reason (like differences in age).

I know our job will be to toughen him up, to give him the right information about how to respond in those situations, and hope that he doesn’t let those things bother him too much. But then again, if he’s got a sensitive personality (and I believe he does), then those types of situations may always affect him, understandably. But it’s still heartbreaking for me to see or know of other kids that might shun him for whatever reason.

Anyhow, I promised him we’d go back to the park tonight after work to play, and that we’d go earlier so that hopefully there are more kids and friends there for him, especially in his age group.

My poor little guy…….