I applaud Moms that have the balls to go on strike. The inspiration for this post isn’t because of some story I heard on the news recently–nope. It’s just something that I think all Moms need to experience at one time or another to really make her family realize how important she is–the glue that holds the family together and keeps it functioning. Hell–even Mama Bear from The Berenstein Bears went on strike when her family started to take for granted that she was the maid and didn’t carry their own weight.
Well, I am at the point where I am going to go on strike, as well.
It all started yesterday when Kwasi seemed to be in a pissy mood when I came home. Most times it’s due to Kwabena’s misbehaving, but I didn’t notice any particular bitching at Kwabena, so I figured it was due to something else. I am in the midst of trying to figure out our car seat situation (as I just posted about yesterday), and I wanted to check out Kwasi’s car, and to take out the old, lopsided seat that Ohene was using, and install the Britax Boulevard in there. I also wanted to see if the baby’s car seat base would fit with that set up. Unfortunately, it didn’t. (At which point I realized that I will have to get Ohene another slim Radian to fit in Kwasi’s car).
When I went upstairs to the office, where Kwasi was sitting, he looks over at me irritatedly, and says, “Can you just slow down, Serena??” Well, that just pushed the wrong buttons, buddy.
First of all, *I’m* the one that has been busting my ass to figure out the most economical way to make all 3 of OUR children fit into our cars, without having to go out and buy a new car, which was really cannot afford right now. Even if we COULD afford it right now, there is so much job uncertaintly in my future, between maternity leave, contract ending, that to take on a car payment right now would not be the smartest decision. Getting new car seats and spending $500-$700 on outfitting our cars is the most economical decision. That’s like the cost of a single car payment (two at most!!). Which would YOU prefer??
So, for him to be irritated with me for trying to figure out our car seat configuration, when his ass has done NOTHING to help this situation, makes me very angry.
And not only has my anger at this situation made me pissed, but it’s seeped into other things, too. Take the gutters, for example. Because we live near a lot of trees, you have to clean the gutters out frequently. Although he did it about 2 weeks ago, it’s now full again, and it must be clean, or else what happened the other night will keep happening–full gutters –> water falls off of the gutters –> potential for home damage and water leaks.
I spend my spare time (especially when not busy at work), researching how to thoroughly clean gutters, and affordable gutter guard options, and this….and that….and I even send links home to him that are relevant to helping us maintain our house, and honestly, I don’t know if he even reads some of the things I send.
If I weren’t pregnant right now, MY ass would be up on that ladder, cleaning the gutters (or, rather, blowing them out with the leaf blower)….I would have already installed the inexpensive gutter guards. I would have had the yard graded property. I would have done a lot more stuff, too.
And do you think I get any appreciation from Kwasi??? Hell no. All I get are rude, irritate comments about “slowing down.” As if I am being over-zealous and/or annoying.
Even the mold that I found in the garage several days ago, has he mentioned it?? Has he said, “Let’s get the garage cleaned out and stuff put away. And let’s figure out how to clean it up”? No, he hasn’t even mentioned it. All he has said is, “Man, this house is a headache” or something closely related to that.
Yes, it’s a lot to manage. But really, he’s managing NONE of it! I feel like a single woman, managing a household on her own. His contribution, albeit appreciate, is limited to taking Ohene to daycare, dropping Kwabena off at the bus stop, and picking them up. That’s IT. I am not over-exaggerating. That’s all his responsibilities are limited to in our house and household. Oh, and occasionally, he will cook, but that’s few and far between. Oh, and don’t forget the occasional BATH for the kids. And the most important, he cuts the grass. But if I weren’t pregnant, I probably would do ithat, too! But all else, I am the one responsible for: cleaning, buying the food, usually preparing some sort of meal, all the cleaning (which is overwhelmingly impossible to stay on top of), etc.
I wonder how the house would function if I just STOP– stop cleaning, stop buying, stop worrying, stop planning, stop researching, stop initiating action….JUST STOP. I wonder if he would step in and take charge, the way he should be already?
I shouldn’t complain, though. Hasn’t he always been this way?? Haven’t I always been the one to plan everything, and he just waits to be told what to do??
It’s my own fault.
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