Over-protective Mom??

Today I felt like an over-protective mom, and I didn’t like it.

Kwabena and I drove home to Hagerstown for a day of fun with Mom, Trey, and Camryn. The plan was to go to the public pool (icK), then hit the train store and let Kwabi pick out a toy for his belated birthday, and then do cake and ice cream.

The pool was unbelievable disgusting, with tons of bugs floating around, and all sorts of little pieces of leaves or whatever. Gross. But, we got in anyhow (ugh….that’s why I truly despise public pools anymore…..). But since we have not ever gone to the pool with Mom and Camryn and Trey, what the hell.

Last month I had bought Kwabi a one-piece Speedo with floatation inserts inside the belly of the suit, which he wore today. He looked like a pregnant toddler! LOL

At first, he was hesistant in the water, but after some time, became confident to do a swimming crawl in the kiddie pool. And there I was, holding him by the arm pits, ensuring that he stayed afloat the 1 foot of water, and following him around with a vigilance unlike no other. I could think of nothing but that story of a 10-year old boy that “dry drowned” (i.e. had died 2 hours later after gulping in water while swimming).

I was so afraid that Kwabi would take water into his lungs, that I stuck to him like glue, trailing protectively behind him, and when he waded into the “deep” part of the kiddie pool (it was hardly “deep;” just a couple inches higher than the other foot of water along the perimeter of the kiddie pool), I was right there to grab him and steer him to the other side.

At one point, he began protesting, and I felt like an over-protective mom, afraid to give her child enough rope to discover new limits and possibilities. It wasn’t like he was in 3 feet of water; he was in 1 foot of water. And even though accidents can happen in 1 foot of water, what was the likelihood of something awful happening in 1 foot of water as long as I was sitting there alongside the pool?

But there I was, right behind him, ready to grab him if needed. And there were a couple times he got a mouthful of nasty water down the wrong pipe. And I was right there. I was there when there were times when it looked like the water was going to cover his mouth and nose when in the “deep” end.

And even if my presense was necessary at times, I felt like I was being way over-protective. I asked Mom if I was being over-protective trailing him around, and she said, “Not at this age.” But I still felt that I was a bit stiffling, always afraid of some misstep, like there was something potentially terrible lurking beneath the surface of “calm.”

A mom always wants to protect their child, but at what point are we being too protective?? What does “over-protective” really look like? Am I going to be one of those moms afraid to let their teens out of the house for fear of something happening to them?

That’s the key: fear. When you love something so much, the way I love Kwabi, that you fear something will happen to them, so you over-protect so as not to take a chance of something terrible happening.

As parents we protect our kids from a lot of things, which we are supposed to do, but we also need to know when to give them a little free-range to discover and experience life and consequences……and just hope that we are making the best decision, without letting fear restrict our decisions.

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Anyhow, the rest of the day was great, too! After the pool, we went home to get changed, and then headed out for pizza at our favorite pizza spot. Kwabi absolutely loves pizza! It’s no wonder; it’s my favorite, too, and we eat it frequently. 🙂

We only had a little bit of time to get to the train store, where they had tons of Thomas toys! Funny how I get excited over Thomas stuff…..LOL. Mom picked out a Thomas toothbrush for Kwabi, along with some Thomas sippy cups, and some Thomas wall art decals. He was more interested in the free Thomas catelog! He looked at it all the way back to Mom’s house, shouting out, “Look! Look!” when he saw cool toys in the magazine. 🙂

(I wish we had a bigger house with more space so I could buy him some of that stuff…..)

After the train store, Trey and I headed to the grocery store to buy a cake for Kwabi, and some ice cream cups. Once we got the cake home, Kwabi was like a man on a mission to finish his piece of cake (along with everyone else’s that he was picking at!). He entertained everyone by impressing them with his knowledge of knowing who the “presidential candidate” is……at which question he will respond…..”Uhhh……Barack Obama!” Mom and the kids were cracking up laughing over that one!

We finished off Kwabi’s mini-party by taking pictures of everyone making ugly, funny faces. We had so much fun!! OMG! Who knew that a camera and an ugly face could bring so much entertainment?! But there we were–making the silliest, ugliest faces we could muster, and then doubling over in laughter as we looked at ourselves on camera. Man, what a fun time we had!

Kwabi slept halfway home, and once we got home, didn’t want to interact with Kwasi, Nana, or Yaw (Kwasi’s cousin who will be home for the week). He simply wanted to go to bed. He told me, “Mommy, I’m tired!” Poor thing….The pool must have worn him out 🙂 He was a bit fussy going to sleep tonight as he fought over getting the blanket “just right” around his little body……but once Mommy fixed it, he was out like a light.

Overall, a great day! 🙂