I’m soooo done with Kwasi.
So the last couple days we’ve been on speaking terms, but there is still big white elephant in room. (Or maybe he’s pink). Who the hell knows. But he’s there, and he’s not tip-toeing around by any means. He needs to be acknowledged. But I don’t think we know how to, yet.
I brought up today that we still need to talk about issues, but when we did sort of touch on them, we started to argue a bit; he still believes that the “Joe Jackson” way (a.k.a. Michael Jackson’s dad), which sounds ridiculous, is the way we’re going to discipline our kids. I believe that taking things away, like how the aquarium should have been taken away, is more effective and a longer lasting lesson.
Basically, we need counseling. ASAP.
But anyhow, a NEW issue came up today. Well, not knew, but the same old bullshit, basically. Kwabena had a field trip today, of which I helped chaperone as one of the parents:
Afterwards, I decided not to go to work for the rest of the day, and stay around and get some other stuff done. I ended up blowing leaves outside, to get some piles going, so that we can stay on top of the yard work. It wasn’t like it was hard work or anything. Nothing physically demanding. Yet, Kwasi criticized me for “showing off.” Said that I should just sit down and “enjoy pregnancy” and put my feet up and relax. Well, that’s not what I want to do. If I get an afternoon free, the last thing I want to do is waste it by sitting around doing nothing.
I bought a director’s chair from the thrift store for $5.00 yesterday, and I’m itching to paint it and sew a new seat and back for it. So I also did the sanding. Of course, I got bitched about that, saying that he doesn’t “know of any pregnant women that do” stuff like that, blah, blah, blah.
I am an active person. This is what I do. I get shit done. I LIKE to get shit done. I like the idea of sanding…and taking care of things I need to take care of. But with him, it’s all about what makes HIM feel less of a man. Because I am doing “man things” and “active things,” I think it stresses HIM out to see that his pregnant wife is doing things that 1) he should be doing himself, or 2) pregnant women just shouldn’t do.
The point is, I am perfectly fine. I don’t have a disability. I feel heavy and “elephant-ish,” yes, but for the most part, I feel good, and I like doing activities like this during the day when I can actually focus and get them done without having to worry about little ones running into the street or something.
So because of this, all day he’s been super bitchy at me. And tonight, when I just asked him to smell Kwabena’s lunch bag, which still stinks (like stinky arm pits or something!) even after washing it, he sucks his teeth at me.
Can I tell you how freakin’ tired I am of him sucking his damn teeth at me?? It’s like I can’t say or do anything, because everything I say or do warrants a “teeth sucking” from him, like I am just annoying the shit out of him or something.
So I sort of went off on him. Every sentence that came out had a “fuck” in it. LOL Good!! He should know that I’m pissed. I’m sick of the attitude.
It basically confirms the point that I will not forever stay married to this man. Once my kids are of age, I’m out. Because he’ll never change. So I need to be the one to change, so that one day, I can have the hopes of finding a man that actually thinks I’m great instead of annoying as hell.
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