How do parents manage a family and work life with two kids…?? Three kids…?? Four kids…? Five kids…?? A friend of mine (you know who you are!) has five kids, one in each age group–high school age….middle school age….elementary-school age….a 2.5 year old…and an almost 1-year old! Each time I think of her and her husband and how they manage so beautifully, I wonder, “How can they do it, and I feel I’m struggling with managing one??!!”
It’s not so much that I feel like I’m struggling to raise a child; rather, I’m struggling with how to create balance, which means, how do I spend 10.5 hours away from my child everyday….still have enough time to have meaningful quality time in the evenings….have enough time for Kwasi….AND still have enough time for me to enjoy the things I like to do (i.e. sewing, reading, knitting, etc.)?
Each day I rise anywhere between 5 a.m. and 6:30 a.m. My alarm is set for 5:15 a.m. but when I am exhausted, I turn it off and let the sun raise me when I’m good and ready. I’m sure that contributes to my mad-dash around the house to leave by 7:30 a.m. (I’m usually not successful at leaving at that time, though). But even the mornings when I wake on time, I usually don’t leave the house until later than what I would have liked.
Bad organization on my part??
Or it could be that I enjoy the little bit of time that my family has in the morning (e.g. watching Thomas & Friends with Kwabi), so I disregard the clock, only later to feel like I don’t have my shit together. Maybe I’m making an conscious choice to lolli-gag in the mornings…?
I get to work around 8:30 a.m. I enjoy my 1-hour lunch break at the gym (you should see my guns; I’m so impressed). But because I take a 1-hour break to go to the gym, it means I can’t leave work until 5:30 p.m. (If I skipped the gym, then I would leave at 5 p.m.). One of my complaints is that I don’t have enough time in the evening to see Kwabi, to spend quality time not rushing around trying to make dinner, clean the kitchen, straighten up the house, etc. Kwasi barely gets any of my evening time. There’s just too much to do and so little time.
One big time-zapper has been running errands. Each day after work, there is always something that needs to be done: stop at the grocery store because we’re out of OJ or milk…drop off library books because they’ll be overdue….stop by the eye dr. because my contacts are KILLING me and I need a new pair….return something to the store….
These are all things that could and should be done on the weekends. The other night, I left work at 5 p.m. and by the time I finished my errands, it was 7 p.m. before I got home!
I realize that something needs to be done to ensure there is sufficient time in the evening for: family time, healthy dinner time, clean-up time, time to pack lunch for the next day, etc. This is the biggest source of stress in my life (thank God that this is the biggest source of stress, because this is peanuts compared to what most people are stressed about!) LOL
So here are the things I am going to do to create more time for family and myself in the evening:
1. Get to work by 8 p.m. so that I can leave by 4:30 p.m. (on days if I skip the gym) or 5 p.m.
2. For-go all evening errands and save them for the weekends. This will require better planning.
3. Buy as much of the main things we use in BULK so that I don’t run out mid-week and need to stop at the store.
4. Some days maybe skip the gym so that I can leave work 30 minutes sooner, and hopefully be able to have more playtime with Kwabi.
5. Prepare as much as possible the night before, so that leaving the house won’t be as difficult. Maybe even post a hypothetical schedule as a visual reminder of our morning routine.
6. Create a dinner menu so that I know exactly what we need to do to prepare for dinner that evening. Taking the guess-work out will remove a lot of my stress.
I’ll test these things next week and see what happens! I’ll keep you posted! 🙂
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