I’ve noticed lately that things are changing concerning parenthood, particularly discipline and how I interact with Kwabena. Lately he’s developed a condition called “selective hearing.” LOL. I sometimes have to repeat things to him several times before getting the response I am looking for: “Kwabena, it’s time to pick up yours toys. Please pick them up” and “Kwabena, please get in your carseat; don’t climb over to the other side.” And the list of requests/demands go on and on.
Miss Marilyn has also noticed that sometimes Kwabena has to be told several times to do something. I know this is all normal behavior, but man, it’s annoying!
Sometimes I feel like all I am doing or saying is, “Kwabena, please stop running…..” or “Kwabena, please don’t do that….” or “Kwabena, eat your dinner….”.
When I watch old video clips from when he was an infant, I seemed so much more relaxed, so much more loving than the Mom I am now, that (albeit gently) barks orders at her son.
Okay, I don’t want to paint a false picture here: I’m not constantly barking orders. But it seems like now that Kwabena is older and more independent, I am having to say more that feels like……for lack of better word…..NAGGING. For example, in the store, I have to say, “No, Kwabena, get over here where I can see you” or “Kwabena, please don’t hide under the rack of clothes” or “Kwabena, follow me, please!”
Sometimes I wonder if I have lost my patience? Or are these just normal things that parents start to nag their kids about as they get older, are able to move about more, are more curious about their surroundings and tend to take the time more when us parents are more in a rush??
Even though I am trying to work on my timeliness, I still feel like I am always rushing to get SOME place, or to do SOMETHING, and when Kwabena doesn’t jump at the exact moment I ask him to do something, or if he is curious or playful when I am trying to keep him near me in the store, then I feel like I am always nagging him.
I need to get back to how I used to parent–slow and easily. And I also need to understand that some of this outright deviant behavior (e.g. when I’ve asked Kwabena numerous times to clean up his Play-Doh) is normal and not just me nagging because I want Kwabena to do something exactly when I ask.
Overall, I think I just need to relax; maybe set times when Kwabena has free-range to move about a store as he pleases–whatever grabs his attention, just go with the flow, instead of always trying to beat the clock.
Oh, I meant to also say… Many months ago I was at the mall with Heidi and Isabella (maybe a year ago??) and she had Isabella in the stroller, and I didn’t bring a stroller. I let Kwabena walk. Now, at the time, he wasn’t running off the way he started doing later. But he was still doing things like jumping around, falling on the floor, etc. I remember Heidi making a comment to me how she doesn’t know how I do it–that she wouldn’t have the patience for that. And I remember saying that it was fine, and I remember not feeling impatient. I thought it was cute! Now, however, I’m like, “Kwabena, come over here!” and “Kwabena, walk promperly!” Where did that change happen??