I underestimate my son’s abilities. Everyday he continues to “wow” me with what he can do. This weekend my mom gave me some of my nieces old kiddie puzzles, and a Dora “matching” memory game (I used to love memories games as a kid!).
On the box, it says “ages 3+”, not that I paid any attention to it until after-the-fact. But when she gave it to me, I imagined myself tucking it away until I felt that he would be ready and able to play such a game.
So imagine my surprise last night when he wanted to play the game. I pulled out about 4 matches from the box, and neatly arranged the squares on the floor, and showed him how to turn over 2 at a time, finding matches.
He shocked the hell out of me! He easily made matches! I honestly didn’t think he would be able to do it as well as he did! I genuinely praised him, and he was so proud of himself!
I decided to challenge him to see what he would do if I added 2 more matches, for a total of 12 pieces. That proved to be a little more difficult for him, as he kept turning over the same ones.
It was so much fun! And it gave me a glimpse into all the games awaiting us, now and in the future.
Then I challenged him with a 5-piece toddler puzzle. He had a hard time selecting the first piece, but once I put the first piece him for him, he breezed through it.
I offered him the 4-piece puzzle, but by that time, he was worn out from matching and puzzles, lol……He was ready to get his bath and get settled for bed.
The point here is that I totally misjudge Kwabena’s abilities. In my eyes, I still see him as my little boy….my baby that was JUST BORN….how could he possibly know how to solve puzzles and do (what I consider to be) complex memory games designed for ages 3+?
This is a lesson to me to not close my eyes to the fact that Kwabena needs to continually be challenged, regardless of how much “my little boy” he will always be, even when he’s 18 towering over me. This is our job as parents.
Even with simple activities, like taking off his shoes……….When we come home, I usually just take his and my shoes off, not even realizing that part of him growing and learning is me letting him learn some of these basic things–like how to take his shoes off.
So I said to him, “Kwabena, take your shoes off.” He looked at me from across the room, expectantly, as if he was waiting for me to come over to him to do it for him (which I usually did). When he half-attempted himself, he came over and raised his foot to me.
What an eye-opener.
I sat him down and showed him step-by-step what he needed to do to take off his sandles (open the strap first, then tuck your finger in the back and PULL).
He successfully got them off, to which I praised him, and he was so happy at his accomplishment. Now, when I tell him to take off his shoes, he immediately does so successfully himself 🙂
I don’t want to be a mom that hinders Kwabena from growing and learning, under-estimating just how smart and capable a child he is. Yes, he will always be my little boy. But I have to enable him to be independent in areas where he can be independent. And to not enable him to be independent is unfair.
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