Too cute! Chillin’ in my bed…
Matilda holding Ohene:
Uncle Sandy holding Ohene:
This weekend Uncle Sandy and his wife, Matilda, came by to see the baby for the first time. Uncle Sandy kept insisting that, because Ohene was born on a Tuesday (and according to Ghanaian naming tradition), we should have named him “Ohene Kwabena,” since “Kwabena” is the name given to Tuesday-born boys. Our first born, Kwabena, was born at 1:54 a.m. on a Wednesday, but he was named after Kwasi’s dad. So tell me how we are supposed to have two boys, both with the name “Kwabena”? Sorry–that’s about as cool as George Foreman naming all his kids “George.”
Not going to happen!
So we named him Ohene Kwasi Appiah, after Kwasi. I admit, it isn’t my favorite choice. I would prefer him to have his own unique name, but considering the other possibilities, “Kwasi” as a middle name was the best option. I was hoping he was born on that Monday, the 14th. I was diggin’ “Ohene Kojo Appiah.”
Anyhow, everything here is going well. Life with two kids hasn’t been too difficult (yet). I know it’s only been two weeks (I was officially in labor 2 weeks ago, wow!), but that same “weird” adjustment period, well, I just didn’t feel that this time around. It’s amazing how well he’s fit into our family and our routine pretty easily.
I really haven’t made much time for anything else since he’s been born, in terms of my hobbies. I miss knitting. I have squeezed some in here and there, but usually after we get Kwabena to sleep (about 9-ish), I’m sort of wiped out and ready to just crash. Right now it’s 10:30 p.m. and Kwabena is still awake. I put him to bed a little late tonight because of a late nap. (He’s still in there whining about how he’s “having a hard time” going to sleep). Ohene has been knocked out for some time, loungin’ in the swing here in the living room. I’m going to wind some yarn, maybe knit a few rows if I have the energy, and then call it a night.
Ohene usually wakes about 2-3 times per night to nurse. That’s expected. Kwabena did the same thing, I remember. Although this time, I nurse him in bed, lying down, and that’s how we usually fall asleep. I am a little fearful I might roll over on him, or the blanket might come up over his face, or that Kwabena will come to our bed in the middle of the night, not knowing that Ohene is lying there between us, and stomp on him. But it’s so EASY to nurse lying down and to just fall back to sleep.
Kwabena is doing really great with Ohene! He hasn’t been the helper that I had prepped him to be, but that is okay. The whole “helper” thing was really about trying to get him to be involved and not jealous. He hasn’t been showing any jealousy or aggressive behavior towards Ohene; mostly, he’s been craving attention from us, asking us to play with him during times when we can’t, or something. I feel guilty about that.
All I have been (other than a wife) is “Kwabena’s mom” for the longest time. He was my baby (even though he claims that he isn’t a baby anymore). Now there’s a new little guy that is sharing the lime light; a little guy that I love just as much, who makes me feel happy when I hold him, too. And, I think, for a mom, that causes a lot of guilt, because you now want to share your time with BOTH kids….and because you just can’t give all your time and love and attention to your oldest child anymore.
Kwabena and I have been carving out time for just us, thought. Today he was off from daycare again, and so we’ve played Shutes and Ladders. We played with his LEGOS and made a “house on wheels.” And we took a little trip to the dentist today to have Kwabena’s chipped tooth (caused from a collision between him and Trey on Christmas day!) sanded and smoothed down. The other night we went to the mall for playtime, even though it was 8 p.m. when we left the house.
So, I AM trying to carve out attention for him, but even with that, I feel it’s not enough; it’s not what he HAD been getting from me. Plus, because he’s craving attention, I have been a bit more of the “mean” Mommy–fussing a bit more, getting more easily frustrated when he doesn’t listen, and not willing to put up with as much of his “mess” and playful not listening.
But, I know this is all part of the transition. We’re not a family of three anymore; we’re a family of four now. And even though I feel like I have taken away something from Kwabena (my undivided attention), what I am giving him (a brother) is much more rewarding. 🙂
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