Kwasi and I have been arguing and ignoring each other for the past 3 days. I won’t get into the whole issue, but to make a long story short, he can’t deal with the fact that Kwabena prefers to be with me. It all started Fri. night when we went out to dinner, and Kwabena didn’t want to sit next to him.Ohene was next to Kwasi, and then Ohene wanted to sit on my lap. So to make more space, Kwasi told Kwabena to sit next to him. But Kwabena wanted to sit next to me. So that I was, with a pile of kids on my side of the booth, and Kwasi sitting alone. When we got to the car, it turned into this big blow-out, about how Kwabena needs to stop “acting like a bitch” and that he needs to stop being “up his Mommy’s ass.”
Stupid, I know…. And supposedly, because he doesn’t feel I don’t back him up on things, then he gets upset at me. But how do you back up a parent that is making mountains out of molehills? How do you support a parent in pushing your child away just so that the other parent doesn’t feel “left out”? For example, when I am around, it’s all about “MOMMY,” for both kids, really. And isn’t that normal? Don’t kids usually prefer Mommy?? But, Kwabena gets criticized for it, and it makes Kwasi angry for being “stuck up his Mommy’s ass.”
So, basically, Friday’s blow-up turned into silence treatments from Kwasi for 2 whole days; he even ignored Kwabena when Kwabena said good morning to him. His lesson is that if Kwabena doesn’t want to listen to him (i.e. follow directions), then he isn’t going to listen to Kwabena. Totally immature, if you ask me.
So today was Open House at Kwabena’s school. It’s a time for parents to come into school to see their kids within their learning environment. I JUST found out about it, and sent Kwasi the info. Of course, he didn’t make it a priority to attend–he said he had conference calls and stuff. :-/ But get this– last night I reminded Kwabena that today was Open House. He said, “Is Daddy coming?” I told him I wasn’t sure, that I had given him the info about it. I said, “Do you want Daddy to come?” Kwabena responded, “Meh, I don’t really expect him to.” I kept grilling him for to elaborate, but he didn’t. Several minutes later, I offered, “Do you think Daddy won’t come because he has to work?” He did say yes, that Daddy has lots of conference calls. Then he said he didn’t want Daddy to come because he would embarrass him. He said Daddy always tells him that he will come to school and spank him in front of his class, or something to that effect.
During an argument that we had today, Kwasi pointed out that I should have defended him when Kwabena made a comment about not expecting Daddy to come; that I should have said about how other parents won’t be there because of having to work, etc. I guess he has a point. But, honestly, I didn’t comment on it at all. I just left his comment alone. I could have defended him, or I could have said, “Yeah, Daddy has to work, but if he cared, he could have taken off work” or some other comment like that. I didn’t push it either way. Honestly, I’m not going to make excuses for Kwasi’s lack of parental involvement in these areas. If he’s not going to attend, then he needs to tell Kwabena himself.
Anyhow, it ended up just being ME that went. Later when I was talking to Kwasi about it, of course Kwasi throws up that he had to work, blah, blah, blah, and that he didn’t care about that bullshit, and made it seem like it wasn’t important to him, that there was already some “Open House” that he went to before (the orientation open house, that is, not the actual joining the classroom), and that, “Why do I need to go to some Open House today?!”
Be a dick about it, Kwasi…..Continue to wonder why you have no close relationship with your 5 year old son…..Because you work all the time….all you do is bitch at Kwabena for his imperfections and annoying behavior……and you really don’t care to be involved in those things.
For some reason, Kwasi thinks that just because he does certain things, like pick him up from the bus stop, take him to my his mom’s house, etc., that that should be recognized by Kwabena as being a father. No, it’s coming to his school…..it’s taking a day off on the weekends at least once a month and doing something fun and special with the kids……It’s getting down on Kwabena’s level and really talking to him or playing with him, or just spending time with him without all the bitching and fussing. He’s missing out on so much, and he obviously doesn’t realize it. And then he gets hurt feelings when his kids prefer to be with me than with him. **scratching my head**
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